What if
by Celtic Light
Summary: "He saw it. Through the flashes of light, through the jinxes, a burning fire. A fire none of the death eaters seemed to be able to tame. A fire far too quick for them to escape from it." Marlene McKinnon is seriously injured on mission. ONE SHOT Blackinnon.


**Hey guys! thanks for all the reviews on my previous drabbles, hope you'll like this one! xx**

Sirius was going mad.

It had been hours. Hours that St Mungo had taken Marlene away from him. He fought, yelled and even grabbed a healer by his robes for them to let him in, but it was vain. He was left alone in a sitting room, with nothing else to do than to wait.

He had left her early that morning. She was sleeping so peacefully. He couldn't have waken her up. He had made her a cup of coffee and left it on the kitchen table with a note saying that she had to stay safe home, that he would be fine alone. He dropped a gentle kiss on hersoft lips and left as quiet as a shadow.

Less than an hour later, he was dueling with a death eaters, along with the rest of the order. He fought well, and everything was going fine. The other side couldn't win, there were far too many members in Dumbledore's association.

Just as Sirius began to find all this joke incredibly amusing, he saw it. Through the flashes of light, through the jinxes, a burning fire. a fire none of the death eaters seemed to be able to tame. A fire far too quick for them to escape from it.

"Marls…" He whispered.

Of course, he should have guessed it. But she was sleeping so peacefully. She seemed so quiet earlier that morning. Even angels could only dream to look like her. For she was no angel. She was a fire. Far too strong. Far too fierce. Far too fast.

Not fast enough.

She managed it perfectly. She was absolutely brilliant. But it wasn't enough. A flash of blue light hit the burning fire square on the eyes. She fell.

"MARLENE!"

Sirius shouted at the top of his lungs. He ran. More than once the green light missed him by an inch. But he didn't care. He would have stepped back an inch to be hit by the curse if that would have meant staying with Marlene, wherever she would go. He dropped himself beside her. He took her in his arms and held her head carefully. She was pale. Her eyes were open, but she wasn't blinking. He cried for help. But no one would hear him. Remus was dueling against Greyback. Mad-Eye had his wand pointing at six death eaters, each one getting their turn. Lily was fighting and healing at the same time. None of them seemed to notice that one of them fell. Until Sirius heard a familiar voice, echoing as if he was miles away from it.

"Sirius! take her and leave!"

He looked up to see James dueling, a frightened look on his face as he glanced at Marlene.

"I cant leave you!" Sirius shouted, even though half of him wished to take Marlene to the hospital as soon as possible.

"We'll be fine! GO!" James shouted back.

Sirius jumped on his feet and lifted Marlene up in his arms carefully. He ran through the flash of lights, but he couldnt he them. His heart was beating too was. His sight was too blurried by the fear of losing the image he had of Marlene, earlier this morning. He ran, whispering to her that she will be alright. That they will both go back home, that he will make her another cup of coffee. That from now he will make her one every morning until his last heartbeat if she lets him. He promises her that he will take care of her, that one day he will propose to her. He promises that even after she slaps him, he will keep proposing her again and again, until she says yes. Because he could never bear having that feeling, as he holds her in his arms as if she was his own, again. He could never bear having to be torn again by the idea that he might lose her before even doing what he had always wanted to do with her, before telling her how much he loved her, before even saying good bye.

They finally reached St Mungo, and she was torn off from his arms. Now he was pacing, runnign both of his fists in his hands fiercly, punching walls. He was wondering, if he had done something different this morning, would it be different? What if he had stayed a little longer, until he had resolved himself to stay with her and never go on mission? what if he had kissed her a little wilder, she would have woken up and dragged him back with her under the blankets? what if he had made a better coffee, she would have enjoyed it and stayed home instead of leaving the cup cooling down and storming out to find him? What if he had never met her? What if he had never been born?

A healer entered the sitting room. Sirius turned around, turning pale as all his blood rushed to his pounding heart.

"Is she…?" He asked in a hoarse voice.

"She will be fine, but she- sir!"

Sirius stormed out. On the next second, he had entered Marlene's room. There she was, sitting upright on her bed, staring into the depths as if her thoughts were written on the blankets. Sirius sighed in relief as he quickly stepped towards her bed and knelt down, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips.

But she gasped and pulled it way from him roughly, as if the simple contact with Sirius' skin had burned her hand. Her gaze was still stuck on the blankets. Sirius frowned and stood up, scanning her fully.

"Marls?" He called softly.

Her simple name seemed to awaken all of her senses -or was it Sirius' voice?- She jumped and her head turned a little towards the sound, but her gaze couldn't find him.

"Sirius?" She asked in almost a whisper.

But Sirius couldn't answer. He kept gazing at her, as his brain slowly started to function and he began to understand. His heart sank.

"Siri, is that you? please answer me!" Marlene's eyes became water as she started to panic.

Sirius remained quiet, unable to find his voice. Suddenly, unexpectedly, Marlene reached out with one hand towards Sirius, trying desperatly to find him, but her gaze remained lost somewhere on the blankets. He finally took her hand and bent down on his knees once more, kissing his repeatedly, needingly.

"Babe… what have they done to you…" he said in a tightened voice, the back of his eyes burning painfully.

"Sirius, I don't want you to pity me." Marlene said firmly, but her shaky voice and the tears dripping down her cheeks betrayed her feelings. "Look around you. Pity those who were left with no friends and family. Pity the orphans. Pity the ones who are trapped in this hospital for the rest of there lives because of the Cruciatus Curse. Now look at me."

Sirius kept his eyes firmly closed, wishing he would wake up at any moment.

"Baby, Look at me."

He didn't wonder how she guessed, but he looked at her. This time her eyes were upon him, but they seemed lost. They were a little paler than their usual bright blue colour, but she didn't look any less beautiful then when he had left her sleeping peacefully earlier that morning.

"I will not judge you if you choose to let me fight alone, Sirius. I know you like a wild life. But know something: I will stay in the order, as useful as I can be. So you will have to bear your ex-girlfriend a little longer than you expected. I'm sorry." She smiled weakly, running a hand through Sirius' silky hair as she had done so many times when she could see them.

Sirius watched her. If only she had heard what he had been telling her on their wat to St Mungo. If only she knew how this incident was nothing on their path to happiness. It was only another reason to make him fall in love once more. He stood up and dropped a gentle kiss on each one of her eyes, wiping her tears away with his lips.

"I will _never_ let you down. Do you hear me, Marlene McKinnon? You're stuck with me. Even if you push me away, even if you hex me, i'll crawl back on my knees towards you even if i had to go through hell's fire. I love you, Marls. And as soon as we get out of here, I will marry you."

With those words, Sirius closed the gap between them and captured her lips. Marlene's hands found his face, and this time the tears streaming down her face were pure happiness.


End file.
